I’m writing this to you, my friends and moms with daughters. It’s interesting to think about the fact that there are three of you out there who will someday be joined to my sons as a family. I think about you often. My prayers are for you, for your marriage, and your relationship with Jesus. I also pray that your daughter has an amazing godly and loving father who can show her what to expect from a husband. There is a chance, though that she does not. She might be more like me and figuring this whole thing out will be a struggle and will lead to a lot of heartache.
I’m busy over here raising boys who will someday become husbands. It is my heart’s desire to raise them into men of courage, valor, and honor. My prayers for them are to be men who lead their wives and children and who have hearts that are completely sold out to Jesus.
There are a few things that concern me about the women we are raising in our society today. Movies and TV shows portray a completely dismal image of marriage and family. In many movies, the girl is desperate to find a man who saves her, a knight in shining armor. Some movies promote the idea of a woman finding a hot mess man who she can change if she just loves him well enough. Other movies portray marriage as a prison and relationships as complicated, not worthy of fighting for. Of course, there are some positive storylines out there as well but, let’s be honest, they are few and far between.
Magazine articles encourage promiscuity and discourage the sacredness of a woman’s virginity. I pray that your daughters are strong enough in heart and mind to see past the images that are thrown at her from every angle nearly every day of her precious life.
My concern is that we are not setting our children up for the kind of marriages and relationships that God desires for them. Healthy, whole, fulfilling marriages where the man is highly respected and the woman, deeply loved. They speak blessing over one another and help each other become the person they were created to be. So, I’m pleading with you, moms with daughters, to make sure you tell your daughters these 4 things.
She Does Have a Knight in Shining Armor
Okay, this is quite possibly the most important thing she could ever know. Jesus is her Knight in Shining Armor. In the book of Revelation Chapter 19, we are told that Jesus even rides a beautiful white horse! He is Faithful and True and He leads a great army. His love for your daughter is so great that He even died for her.
As women, we long to be loved, cherished, and adored. We want a strong leader who is also tender and loving. She has all of these things in the Lord. Please, please make sure to tell her this and pray for her heart to know Jesus. May He be her first love.
Our Boys are not Saviors
It’s often a story I have seen in many of my friends. I have been guilty of it too. We have it all twisted. We desire our man, our husband to be the perfect Savior on the white horse who slays the enemy then comes home to sweep us off our feet. We expect him to love us exactly as we long to be loved and he should know, right?
This unmet expectation leads to failure in many marriages. It causes strife and discord. It’s so important that your daughter knows that Jesus pursues her heart, he shows her perfect love and she doesn’t need this from her husband. He needs to love her and he needs to learn to love her well, very well. But, he cannot be God to her. He is an imperfect human being who needs grace and forgiveness and space to make mistakes.
Please make sure your daughters are prepared to marry a person with flaws who also need to seek a flawless God.
Her Future Husband Should be Covered in God’s Armor
It’s true, our sons cannot be your daughters’ saviors. However, they should be men who willingly cover themselves and their families in the armor of God. Your daughter is worthy of a husband who chooses to fight in God’s army. He will put on the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness and the belt of truth. His feet will be fitted with the good news of the Gospel and he will draw on the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. (Ephesians 6: 10-18).
Encourage your daughter to seek out, to pray for, and to wait for this man of God who will love her and lead her and their future children. I’m pleading with you, moms of daughters, to raise your arrows on purpose! Raise up your daughters, pointing them out in the way they should go. Don’t guess. Don’t aim blindly. It’s not worth the risk.
I Promise to Raise my Boys to Love Her Well
I’m doing my best. I fail every.single.day. But, I promise not to give up. I will keep hitting my knees and calling out to God to help me with this calling as a mom of boys. Every night I will pray over them for their hearts are softened to God’s voice and that they love Him with all of their strength. Sometimes I feel so ill-equipped but I think that if I just keep pointing them to Jesus, He will take care of the rest.
I promise to raise my boys to love and respect women. We will talk about the hard things and I will teach them about a woman’s strong body and all that it is capable of. My husband and I will work hard on our marriage. We will laugh in front of our boys and occasionally argue too because marriage can be messy. But, we will show them that it is worth fighting for. I will speak highly of their father to them and to others. I will work hard to break generations of the bondage of addiction and abuse to ensure that your daughters are loved by my sons.
Mama’s of boys, I plead with you to do the same. May our boys become men of valor and may they lead generations to come.
I Leave You With This
Moms of boys and moms of girls, it’s no doubt we have our work cut out for us. We have a death culture to contend with. I still believe with all of my heart that Love wins, every time. Let’s teach our babies about True Love. Let’s not set them up for failure but rather lead them into Truth.
I pray that as you read these words you see my heart and feel the love with which I write this.
All my love,